Dating a guy with kids and an ex wife
While this is perhaps less an issue if the mom is in a relationship or married, heaven forbid if she is single and alone.
The mom may be overly territorial and that Momma Bear will see any female, and especially one who takes special interest in her kids, as a dangerous intruder that must be closely watched and, if necessary, stopped.
Single fathers – and single mothers – must be careful who they allow into their children’s lives.
To royally screw up a kid, just let them see a parent with a rotating door of ‘relationships’ coming through the house.
It seems for many of these women, meeting his kids is a really big deal. It’s a sign, a sign of interest, a sign of faithfulness, perhaps a sign of his love.
And for single dads who are doing the job of fatherhood right, it should be a sign.
Your relationship is relatively new, long distance, and as you said, “a bit difficult.” To meet a partner’s child leaves an impact, on you, but most certainly on them.
Kids might play it off as ‘no big deal,’ but I can assure you it is.
If the father has been single for a long time, the kids are older, or overly attached, a new woman in daddy’s life can easily be considered a separate threat because she is, ‘taking daddy away.’ That brings its own set of issues.
It was a decade ago, and they were 3 and 5 years old.
They still remember her name, those of her pets, kids, and even things we did together.
She might try to turn his kids against him, or attempt take his kid(s) from him; all as a way to punish him for her displeasure, or out of jealousy.
He worries that a new, overly zealous, girlfriend may threaten the mom’s role, and suddenly his kids become ‘too busy’ to see dad.
Note how he assured her that the children and the mother know about her.